17 August 1999
Anne Bargar

DESPERATELY SEEKING

Disgusted public seeking honest, reliable hard-working public official(s) for local/state/regional/national decision-making. Gender/age/race/sexual orientation unimportant. Desire/ability to truly represent the interests of your constituents a must. Other "musts" include: ability to achieve goals without compromising the public interest (including but not limited to enviornmental degradation, creation of living-wage as opposed to minimum-wage jobs, and avoiding legislation that costs a lot of money but does nothing for the public good); intolerance and non-practice of discrimination based on race, gender, tax bracket, sexual orientation, or anything else; ability to stand up to corporate and/or military interests; ability to raise funds in a fair and open manner; and ability to answer questions from the public HONESTLY, not in some garbled set of meaningless words that you keep in the back of your head in case someone asks you a question. We don't care what you've snorted, who you've slept with, if you believe in any kind of deity, or what prep school you went to. This is entirely unimportant. Honestly. We don't know who's getting paid to try and get us to think that this stuff is, but we question their sense of reality. If you think that you fit this description, give us a call. We're waiting!