Pass The Rubber Chicken-A Collection Of Statements

Instructions: You will need one rubber chicken. Get together a group of performers. Find a group formation that you like, and pass the rubber chicken as you perform the piece. Performers speak once they have the chicken, and pass it as soon as they are done speaking. Do anything you want. Just keep that rubber chicken moving....

1. "I gotta admit, I miss good old-fashioned national sovereignty. Remember when
nations could generally make their own decisions about stuff?"

2. "Capitalism undercuts undercuts undercuts Capitalism Undercuts undercuts undercuts."

3. "Social responsibility. Social responsibility. Social responsibility."

4. "Doesn't apply to multinationals! they oppress over 5 billion every year!"

5. "Cheeseburgers all around folks! Let's help banish that unsightly vegetarianism to the most remote corners of the planet!"

6. "I hear they're inventing new asphalt filters that will help us breathe once the atmosphere is paved."

7. "It's carbon dioxide they're trying to replace the atmosphere with, not asphalt! it's just as deadly, but not as noticeable."

8. "Hey, just because we're from the Committee to Pave the Planet doesn't mean we can't promote paving the atmosphere as well."

9. "Folks, did we agree to this?"

10. "Money is everything."

11. "But did we agree to this?"

12. "Money is everything."

13. "But did we agree to this?"

14. "I guess they're just not thinking about the implications or their proposals."

15. "The transnationals know exactly what the implications are. They refuse to see beyond the color of currency."

16. "I mean, who needs food labeling?"

17. "Hormones hormones hormones hormones hormones. Good for you."

18. "Farmers' dollars are trying to scream, "We won't be forced to grow GMO's."

19."There would be no value to labeling where there can be no perceived benefit to the public other than that some sector of the public thinks it is their right to know."

20. "Let's applaud this fantastic quote from Arnold Foudin from the USDA, our beloved supplier of nutritionless food to those who need it most. Way to go, Arnold!"

(Applause all around!)

21. "A million here, a million there, who really cares? It's just a few more people out of work."

22. "But it doesn't have to be this way."

23. "What if we lose what forest we have? Since this has been sold to us as being inevitable, what can we do to keep this from happening?"

24. "But you know, it doesn't have to be this way."

25. "Corporations do not have a brain, so how can they form the intent to commit a
crime?"

26."The previous statement was spoken by a corporate lawyer."

27. "Free trade? That's great! It's got the word free in it!"

28. "That statement was spoken by someone entirely different."

29. "SWEAT SWEAT sweat sweat sweat sweat........."

30. "SHOP SHOP SHOP shop shop shop shop shop................."

31. As I said, it doesn't HAVE to be this way.

32."They're gonna sell off Lake Superior if we don't stop them!

33. "So lets stop them."

34. "They're gonna pave the planet if we don't do something."

35. "So lets stop them."

36. "They keep trying to sell us money and a soulless culture to spend it on, saying it's good for the economy. Whose economy are they talking about anyway?"

37. "They only have as much power as we give them."

38. "Oh, don't worry about it. 'Dallas' is on!'

39. "But they only have as much as much power as we give them."

40. "Efficient government ISN'T good government!"

41. "They only have as much power as we give them."

42. "Have you read the WTO's home page? Isn't it amazing how many words can be devoted to trying to sell the world something by saying nothing about it?"

43. "They only have as much power as we give them."

44. "Buy locally grown produce."

45. "Eat organic food."

46. "Walk as many places as you can."

47. "Support your local union."

48. "Write your legislators and tell them that the WTO is the end of the world as we know it."

49. "Know what you buy and who you buy it from."

50. "Fight the export of jobs from your community."

51. "Remember, they only have as much power as we give them."

52. "Stay informed about what's happening in the world."

53. "Think for yourself and speak your mind regardless of the consequences."

54. "Seek the truth in every piece of bullshit."

55. "Speak the truth."

56. "Remember, they only have as much power as we give them."

57. "Name oppression whenever and wherever you see it."

58. "Stop watching TV."

60. "Remember, they only have as much power as you give them."