AOL, Time/Warner Shove Each Other Up Each Other's Assholes
Analysts Stunned

THE WORLD (Associated Poets) -- Displaying a responsiveness to public opinion all but unheard of among companies their size, America Online and Time/Warner immediately complied with a suggestion offered to them by the public and shoved each other up each other's assholes. Representatives of the two mega-corporations were unavailable for comment because, as topologists have predicted for centuries, the mutual up-the-asshole-shoving of any two entities results in their disappearance into the fourth dimension.

Analysts were stunned. "I'm stunned," said Anna Liszt, chief analyst at the Center for Analytical Pronouncements in Annapolis, MD. "As am I," added Betty Freud, assistant senior vice fellow for analysis at MIT. Most analysts simply did not respond when questioned, but just stared blankly into space. Some began to drool.

The public was delighted. "When we think about it, which we increasingly do, we find the idea of massive consolidation of control over the information we have access to so distateful that it makes us express our desires in terms a shade balder than those we normally use," it explained. "We never had a shred of hope that these giant companies would even listen to us at all, much less actually take us up on our suggestion that they shove each other up each other's assholes." The public added that General Electric could go jump in a lake.