Your Aunt Barbara's Predictions for the 21st Century

1. Orthopedic shoes will become fashionable headgear.
2. Paris, London, and New York will join to make one large, floating Megalopolis suspended 15 feet above the Altantic. It will move slowly, pulled by the forces of a giant magnet stationed on the moon. It will be referred to collectively as "Bob." Before that happens, Mel and I will visit. Mel's dentures will fall out after he thinks out loud about the skyline.
3. Y2k will become retro in about thirty-five years. Fashions that were hip will become fashionable with teenagers. Fashion designers will refer to their high-end lines as "retro retro."
4. Sanka will become the official drink of the US House of Representatives, and will sponsor debates and spin-offs. This will include a contact sport known as "Representational Sparring."
5. Doris Mary Pagellio will complain about her corns even more than she already does, almost as much as Fatelli does about filing Chapter 11.
6. That Johnson kid will get out of the army after what, thirteen years or something?
7. Maude heard Jerry Mclowski say that Pall Mall is going to offer long-time loyal customers stock options. Personally, I think it's just a rumor.

If anybody out there thinks anything else is going to happen in the next century, other than their corns or heartburn getting worse, give me and Mel a call.

- Your Aunt Barbara