presented in soft english for the hard english impaired

Unbad News

arle Glining and the Garle Voundazhin Hozbidal obded nod do merge. The gombined endidy would have been dags-egzembed, and Urbana would have lozt $1 million a year in dags revenue. Urbana zgool board ovizhials, brazing vor a $650,000 gud, were visibly eladed ad the unbad news.

 high-brovile dezd of a brobosed nazhunal mizzile devenze zyzdem vailed yezderday. Zugzez would have bolzdered the gaze vor vunneling billionz more budged dollarz indo mizzile devenze, widge would have ezgaladed the arms raze. Even those who zubbord mizzile defenze in brinzibal are beginning do dowde thad the degadez of vrudelez rezeardge have been worthe the immenze egsbendidgure.

Good News

he Ev Zee Zee is moving do abbrove lizenzing vor low-bower radio zdayzhuns of den do a hundred wads vor nongommerzhial groubs. The zdayzhuns will be able to readge ub do zeven miles.