Open Letter to the Rat-Fucks Trying to Get Elected

ou see, it's like this. you can practically taste the squalor, and it's about time someone said something about it. it's like we were all issued rose colored glasses, except some asshole painted the lenses rosy. i hate elections, especially presidential ones. like those soulless puppets, chewing on the stubbed-out butts of their hand-rolled cubans, can make a difference in our lives. like those fuckers really care about us, the scum.

they come out and say how much they care. mr. no-blowjob says he has been targeted by the nra. like there is a little red dot on his perfect part. "i have angered the gun-toters and now i have a luminous new birthmark." righty-fuckin'-oh! i don't think you have been targeted. i think your status has changed. you have been moved from the "maybe-he's-forgotten-that-guns-are-bad list" to the "needs-more-money-to-make-him-look-away list." and i'm supposed to cream myself because one of your analysts made the really hard to justify leap of faith that maybe you could argue, possibly, that it could be conceived of that there is a small amount of data pointing to an as yet unproved hypothesis that it might be too easy to get a gun in this country. well, good for fuckin' you. when one six-year-old blows away another six-year-old on a public school playground with a semi-auto handgun, the fuckin' writing is on the fuckin' wall. you would have to be so myopic that the grand canyon looks like a doable standing long jump practice exercise not to see that guns are too easy to get. one more time, a fuckin' six year old, ferfucksake!

and yet, you took a hard-line stance on the gun show loophole. the gun show loophole! the fuckin' gun show loophole? the whole canon of law dedicated to guns is a fuckin' loophole. can your analysts see that? it's time to reevaluate the whole fuckin' thing, zippy. from the brady bill on down to the goddamn bill of rights. guns don't belong in the hands of anyone. i get the feeling that you dickless bastard motherfuckers (because this 6-year-old killer cluster-fuck proves these adjectives are correct) would legalize hand-held nuclear bombs if the money was good.

your (and this possessive-pronoun refers to all the curs in washington and those who want to go to washington) processes are all fucked up. when did you lose the forest for the trees? fuck that! when did you lose your fuckin' humanity for the money? can you still form a sentence without the promise of some money for it? this is a simple issue, okay. let me spell it out for you: you made that 6-year-old KID a killer. you deregulated the shit out of everything, then you looked away as jobs and the dignity of u.s. workers' was deported to third world sweat shops. but who the fuck cares if taiwanese kids ruin their bodies at the age of 20 from the 23 hour work days, 7 days a week, just so they can afford to get to work and eat half a rind of rotten melon every day? i mean, we reap the benefits, right? no, because you looked away as the infrastructure in these dying cities crumbled away. you looked away as the profit, the fuckin' 3000% profit that was rolling in from those sweat-shops, remained in the hands of top executives and never made its way to those who had lost their jobs, who's cities were becoming cesspools of smut and graft, who's fuckin' lives had been dedicated to seeing their country remain a world power, only to take it in the ass, again, as their children turned to gangs and crime just to get some money.

and you kinda have to respect them for turning to crime. at least then they aren't paying 30% to you ass-backward fucks. 30%. wrap your pea brains around that one. i mean, if you are lucky enough to still have a job in the Flint, MI area, if for some reason or fluke of fuckin' fate you didn't get raped out of your job, the government, in its infinite wisdom, pillages at least 30% of your wages. rape and pillage. ass-raping and fuckin' pillaging is what this government is all about.

and don't give me that partisan bullshit. democan or republicrat, you both know, you both see what is going on. you both sold your souls. i am so sick of hearing you shuffle the blame around instead of dealing with the repercussions of your actions. i don't care if it was reagan or bush or clinton or fuckin' washington. just deal with the shit like a human being. stop peddling your excuses and come up with usable solutions. and let me be clear here, a waiting period for gun purchasing will never work. try this one, "just say no." "i would like to own a gun." you answer, "no, you can't have one." "but, i have a clean record (they never convicted me for stabbing my wife)." then you say, "the answer is still no." "but i want to use it for sport." then you say, "there are any number of grocery stores in your neighborhood which will sell you any type of meat you could ever possibly crave for a reasonable price. so the answer is still no." "but i want to protect my family and my property." you say to that, "sir or ma'am, i advise you to take a interest in your community. then. if you and your neighbors feel unsafe, you should start a neighborhood watch program and elect officials who care about your needs and concerns. that would protect your family and property much more effectively than a gun ever could." "but i have a constitutional right to bear arms." this is the good one, are you ready? reply, "you have the right to remain silent. anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a court of law. etc...etc... because that right is for maintaining a well ordered militia and they are only good for one thing--taking over the government. and seeing how the current government pays my salary, you are being arrested for conspiracy to overthrow my job."

which leads nicely to the next thing that occurs to me to hate about you fucks. if on more jackass tell me to come up with a better system, i'll kick his teeth in and shit down his throat. we already have a better system, just no one to run it right. the system provided for in the constitution could work if you elected officials would stop fuckin' around, stop promising the moon but delivering a ball of moldy cheese, if you would stop attacking each other like hungry cannibals and turn that energy toward solving problems effectively, this country might not suck so hard. i mean, fuck you! do you really think the founding fathers had this kind of shit in mind when they wrote the constitution? have you even read the thing? can you read? i think you assholes are really more inbred than the british monarchy we fought so hard to get away from. you may not share any genetic material, but your ideologies are so interbred that you might as well be the sons and daughters of 15 generations of twins that have been fucking each other exclusively for those 15 generations straight. we don't need a third party, we need a second party. fuck that! we need a first party that isn't so goddamn, motherfuckin' lame that it can't keep guns out of the hands of homicidal 6-year-olds.

in a perfect world, 6-year-olds wouldn't have the ability to be homicidal. i know that this isn't a perfect world, though. so, i'm gonna go ahead an kick the shit out of everybody i see smiling, every bumble-fuck whistling away the terror you have inflicted, every happy sap with a bounce in his step to keep from crying over the shit you have blighted this great country with, until all the blinders come off, until every one wakes up from their psychosomatic comas and sees your shit for what it is. because there aren't classes of americans anymore, there is one class -- the dicked over. and when we realize that you don't care enough for us to even fart downwind, we're gonna do something. we're gonna take this country, and its dignity, back. and there ain't nothing gonna stop us. so, i say to you, repent! the time of reckoning is nigh upon us. get our house in order or suffer the wrath of population scorned! so, with all due respect i say, in the words of my hero, "i would like to fondly bottle your heads and cordially invite you to suck my cock." at least then i'd be getting something back for my 30%.