Being an Allegory in Meter'd Neologism Concerning the Modern State of Edgy-Kation and Poly-Ticks, or Something

"Slibberty bibbit!" I said to myself,
"It's time to be glonching the zipe!"
So I loaded my gloncher with hither and yon,
And went to the butcher's for cripe.

The butcher he droozed, with a wink and a flug
At my plans for the zipe to be glithered
But he packed me a titcurl of cripe and fresh insta
And threw in a yowmunt, well blithered.

I searched for the zipe, up quildry and plintock,
Across the vast Zibbelshime Stretch;
Under a number of businessmen's stugs
But nary a zipe did I catch.

As evening approached, all bliskow with druve
I knew I'd be zipeless that day
So I got out my yowmunt, I got out my cripe
And glonchered myself, anyway!