Letter to the Editor

Dear Persons,

I am writing in response to your letter from the Fermented Bison Rights bison, and felt the urge to write in myself on behalf of Deployed bison everywhere.

The thing that bothers me, a retired deployed bison, is the lack of political clout we have, as well as the fact that our lousy pensions simply cannot keep up with today's inflationary rate. Where is the Federal Reserve when you need it? They have their heads up everybody's butts-except those of Deployed Bison! This is an intolerable situation, even though the idea of have Alan Greenspan's head up my ass is about as appealing as the thought of being tarred and feathered. However, a good old-fashioned tar-and-feathering might be just what those smarty-pants of presidential candidates need. A little public humiliation can do a world of wonder for a public official.

On behalf of Deployed Bison everywhere, I am hearby protesting the lack of political clout that any small marginalized group has in the face of the corporate-owned politics of today's world. I hearby call on all Bison, Fermented, Deployed, and Otherwise, to graze and shit upon the lawns of the White House and the Texas Governor's Mansion. Put a Pile in the Middle of the Sidewalk for Justice! Let them step in something stinky! Let us take back the government for ALL bison!

yours truly,
Alfred E. Kapanzio, Q.U.P.N.K. III
Deployed Bison (retired)

Bison