NPR Host Reveals Differences Between Genders

"Girls are different than boys," announced Moira Gunn at a national women's computing conference, revealing the latest breakthrough in human knowledge. Audience members were stunned. "I always thought that I'd just misplaced my penis somewhere, but this may mean that I never actually had one," mused organizationally-challenged graduate student Wendy Edwards. This finding was consistent with other observed phenomena. "When the sixth grade girls were taken out of class to view movies on menstruation, we'd just assumed that the boys were receiving intensive training in armpit farts and other sophisticated sound effect production, but now we find that there may be other reasons for this disparity," noted Edwards. It's currently uncertain whether Edwards' newly-discovered lack of a penis will cause her code to compile any differently for future class assignments.

The talk on "The Digital Divide" Thursday night also inspired worldwide excitement. Gunn pointed out out that most of the Internet connections are in First World countries and discussed the untapped potential. Sub-Saharan Africa is currently facing an AIDS crisis, and many were excited about

T-1's, T-Cells, what's the difference?

connectivity. "T-1's, T-Cells, what's the difference?" asked a CIO at a startup. Several dotcoms offer free personal e-mail accounts, and managers are confident of their ability to tailor tasteful banner ads to the individual preferences of people dying of AIDS in third-world countries. Market leaders are also optimistic about the potential for e-commerce. "So far, we've ignored the possibility that people who are starving to death in countries like Bangladesh could become major consumers on the 'Net, but we plan to explore that untapped market. We've considered offering credit cards with a low APR to such individuals, but we've noticed that customers in some countries show a tendency to be killed in civil wars, which would present a major challenge to us in managing our consumer data," commented the executive. "However, we truly care about our customers, and we're continuing to work on finding a way to offer them credit cards at a reasonable annual rate."

Ms. Edwards is no longer employed by Newspoetry.