Ambivalence Returns to America
New miniseries promises excitement

ollywood (APs) - After much anxiety over the ending of Hollywood's newest suspense "Who Will Become President", Americans return to the task of not caring anymore.

"It lost it's excitement after the first few days," America said. "I mean recount after recount with no explosions or people running around with blood pouring from their bodies. How can they expect us to pay attention without such things, I ask you? And the acting was really substandard. I mean, couldn't they get Keanu or something?"

When asked for an explanation, Hollywood was quoted as saying, "it

People were wearing pastels.

sounded good during the brain-storming sessions we had. Sometimes these things just don't pay out. Also, there were many changes to the directorial staff and conflicts with the actors. All of which can bring down a movie's quality...Then again, casting the same person in both leads didn't help matters much."

Hollywood went on to say that the four-year miniseries of "2001: A Presidential Oddity" will be more entertaining. "We asked Brian DiPalma to direct it for us. There will be bad guys who were once good guys, more threats from activists, more prisons to be constructed, and the climax will occur when the President packs the Supreme Court with his cronies who go on to...well, I don't want to give away the ending. Let's just say, WOW!"

When asked, America said, "I suppose it couldn't be worse than the eight-year Reagan miniseries. What a drag that was! I mean, people were wearing pastels, for Christ's sake!!"