Cat Questions Ambassadorship
"I'm Not Sure I want The Job," Says Feline

AP-Associated Poets

Once again, the humans have come up with an idea which, in light of current events and analysis of said, may not be as preposterous as it seems. The have decided to secede from the "Union" and in looking at what's been going on recently, I can't say as I blame them one bit. One guy evidently thinks we're part of Europe and can't remember who is actually governor of Texas. The other didn't even try; for example, he could have won if he'd just campaigned in Ohio-a state with 21 electoral votes, where he lost by just 4 percentage points, and where he didn't campaign AT ALL. DUH! But I digress.

I'm not sure I want the job of ambassador. First of all, I don't know what that is.

Second, my days are filled with backyard investigations, hunting small critters, and sleeping in warm spots. I like my life as it is.

Then there are some other considerations. Will my cat food supply be interrupted if a secession takes place? Will the Feds arrive and haul my favorite laps off to prison? Will my favorite heating vents continue to function as normal? Will I still be able to lie across Anne's left arm while she types, inconviencing her enough that she has to pet me? I wonder how deeply the humans have considered these important issues.

But on the other hand, how can I pass up the opportunity to lick my ass in public at the UN?

Decisions, decisions! As you can see, I'm not sure that I want the job. I'm not sure what I want to do. So instead of pondering it any longer, I think I'm going to go sleep on the heating vent.