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NewsSpasmsClinton Does VietnamExplosion Explodes 12 Workers Die Giuliani Cracks Down on Lennon Mourners in Strawberry Fields Electoral Process Nauseates Everybody Politics Get Stupid Pogo Stick Comes in Second Bad Newspaper Abandoned at Local Pub Scab Truck Wreaks Havoc Nuclear Power Next Big Thing Health Care Solution Proposed by Insurance Companies US Military Votes with Guns Solution Found for Peace Low-Fat Militias Burn UN Flag Pregnant Chads Give Birth to Electoral Lawsuits Condoms Found to Cause Premature Graying Global Warming Conference Banished to Middle of Newspaper Anchor Sinks to Bottom "ERP" Moniker Leads to Indigestion: Program Renamed "UI Integrate" Rich Get Richer, Poor Poorer Flight Delayed at O'Hare Mud Deep in Florida Nader Still Only Honest Choice, Concedes Gore Crack Dealers Get 10 Years, Life in Champaign County Tobacco Dealers Get Second, Third Chance Advertising Campaign Fails Dems Seize County Board: Bring it into 20th Century UI Staff Vacuum Leaves into Giant Tanks Local Citizen Stomps on Frost Crystals on Way to Work While Looking at Clouds Train Arrives Late: Passengers Inconvenienced Movie Entertains Viewers: "I Laughed," Says Watcher Cell Phones Cause Capitalism Space Station Trashed in Wild Party EU Admits Eurodisney Rutherford B. Hayes Uses Psychic Medium to Lament Conversion Of Childhood Home to Gas Station Strom Thurmond Unilaterally Declares Self President Bush Offered Concession Prize: Presidency of Phillipines Eating Disorder Victim Sues Hugh Hefner Bad Pun Accidentally Expresses Hidden Angst Arafat, Barak 'Set Up' on Blind Date: Hijinks Ensue Trapped in Newspaper Office: Please Help Dan Rather Runs Out Of Metaphors Fujimori to Appear in Ad for Japanese Airline Pineapple Man Saves Bus from too-early Oil Change Product Placement in CokeTM Headlines Increases 
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