Amy Aaronson:

Aaron's Alphabetic Advancement: an Atrocity?

Indian Firefight

Newspoem No. 573B

Analysis of Newsweek 21st Century Predictions Staff Writers

Your Aunt Barbara's Predictions for the 21st Century

Californium

Strange Death Row Pact Signed

Wall Street Reports Stock Values Of Deceased Mountain Climbers Increase

You Need Expensive Stuff!

Government Announces New Food Programs

Why Newspoetry is Good for America

Presidential Bullshit: An Analysis

What I Do During Staff Meetings

Your Aunt Barb's Personality List of 1999

There's nothing much to think about, folks!

The Ungas Report

Conversation Road Sign Diary

Pentagon Proposes Stupid, Money-Wasting Defense System

Newspoetry's Book Recommendations

From the Financial Times

Boundary Waters Scorecard

McDonald's Gives Stock Market Serious Heartburn, Gastritis, Appendicitis, Irregularity, Gall Stones, Liver Disease, Migraine Headaches, "The Runs", Pattern Baldness, Really Bad Gas, Ingrown Toenails, and "The Vapors"

Letter to the Editor

Letter to the Editor

Roundtable Discussion on Labor

Today

Your Aunt Barbara's Top Ten List Of Stupid Piercings

The Southern Girls Convention: A Report

Person Proud of Attitude "Problem"

Raging Harmony The Theme For GOP, Democratic Negative Blaze Tops 60,000 Acres Of TV Ads

Op-Ed Question of the Week

Web Site Recruits Donors, Recipients

Word Problem

Waiting for Todd

Ode To Trash Day In Zanesfield, Oh.

The Bridge Column

The Scribblings of an Insane Genius

Newspoetry Headline News

Blatant Advertisement

Olympic Rules and Standards: Turkey Slicing Competition

Chicago Tribune 9/24/00

Ask Your Aunt Barbara: Your Dating Questions Answered

In Brief...

This Week in the Middle East

Taxpayer Update

Can Someone Please Explain This?

Mark Sheldon

Vote for Me

Local Politician Running For Statewide Office Fails To Tip Coffee Shop Employee

Polls Revolt

Dick Says ...

203 E. Oregon Secedes From Union

The Roving Cultural Review From West Central Ohio, Deep In The Heart Of French Territory Circa 1750

Headline 2/22/98

News Brieves

Gore's Legal Team Interferes With Old Boy Process

NewsSpasms

Psychic Bison Unsung

Today's Constitutional Hallucination

Newspoetry Y2K Year in Review Quiz

Yet Another Boring Travelogue

Mr. Big Reports

Oh, Pomo!

Satired

Frosty the Poet

The Times

A Plea From the Heart to Stop So-Called "Replication Control"

The Dozens

Gore's Legal Team Interferes With Old Boy Process

Deadlock Above the Keys

At Machiavelli's: a WTO Protest Hyperfiction

Nader Only Candidate Left in Birthday Surprise

The Weight

Puppet Manifesto

The Definition of "Equal Protection" As It Appears in the Majority Opinion of the United States Supreme Court, December 12, 2000

The Runners-Up

A Koan

From Bush to Gore

Foreign Policy Panel: Ease Cuba Embargo

My America

William Gillespie Accused of Murder: Eggplant Involved

12-character Op-Ed on Chief Illiniwek

Newspoem 14 September 2000

Gore's Legal Team Interferes With Old Boy Process

NewsSpasms

Oh, Pomo!

Que Sera, Sera

Roundtable Discussion on Labor

NewsSpasms

Bush to receive CIA updates: Intelligence agency plans to brief Bush six days a week

Newspoetry Lays off 1

Frosty the Poet

MIT, UIUC Launch Home Economics Programs

America

American Justice

Post-Columbine

NPR Host Reveals Differences Between Genders

Mentally-Disturbed Woman Terrorizes Local Business

a cycle of 4 12-character haiku

A Bunch of Haiku, Tankas, and Phone-Number Poems from the DC Protest

Union Boycotts Boss

Oh, Pomo!

Electoral Sonnet

Being an Allegory in Meter'd Neologism Concerning the Modern State of Edgy-Kation and Poly-Ticks, or Something

Freedom From Verse

Villaknell

Baby Steps

Newspoem to a Spirit Known by Newspoets

Computer Malfunction

Newspoetry Service Disrupted by Y2K Bug

AOL, Time/Warner Shove Each Other Up Each Other's Assholes

Newspoetry Acquired by Schneertz

A Poet Reads the Newspaper, ...

Unbad News (for the Hard-English Impaired)

The News

Total Lunar Eclipse

Global Prison Population Warming

Letter to Grozny

Newspoem on my Refrigerator

Dear John McCain and George Ryan

Automatic 12-character Magnetic Valentine

',-()----""'?.!?!

Airblame Gnash

You Can't Say That on the Fucking Radio

WANTED

McLean Wins Michigan

AT

Newspoetry Report from Fairfax, VA

swath

Classics Updated for New Millenium

Ansty Antsy

boundary conditions

Headline Glut Continues

May Day Poetry Slowdown

One Shits One Not

NIST, CODATA Skeptical About Lighter Earth

Left Rebel "Red Ken" Elected

Today's Winning Amino Acid Base-Pair Sequences

Tobacco Choking on Ozone

Winning Lottery Numbers

US Tourism a Trickle of Big Spenders

Alan Greenspan's Briefcase

Tuttasaurus Ruttix

Times Square NRA Theme Restaurant Menu

Tutti Frutti, Oh Rudy

drought

fall

George W. Bush Calls for Reduction in Nuclear Arms; Newspoetry Calls for Reduction in George W. Bush's

Death of a Newspoet

Elian Gonzalez Killed by Crayon

Interview with a Gun

Lazio Presidential Material

A Briefing on Missile Defense (for George W. Bush)

Newspoem 2 June 2000

Memorial Day / Weekend Brings Increases In / Newspoetry Price

bumpidabumpa

Beltway Pome

Oh, "art" us!

missiles

The Average Person

Expecutive Trunk Cauterizes 30% Transcrease in Bag

Human Genome Informed of its Rights

Julia Butterfly of Suburbia

Newspoetry 527's

Nature

Newsdream

A Fable

Automatic Summer Poem

NTSB Issues Final Report on John F. Kennedy Jr. Crash

brace

Investors Drop Newspoetry After Lower-than-expected Earnings Report

Clinton returns to Camp David regard something as probable or likely with desire to mediate Mideast quality of state or fact of existing unlike or dissimilar

The Dick Cheney Blues

Epsilon Eradani

Nader Chooses Al Gore, George W. Bush as Running Mates

Signs of the End Times, IV

Headline Subtraction Pome

Jolly Old Czaint Nicholas II

National Geographic Plans Bond Issue

Russ Sub, Kursk, Sunk; UK Sub Plumbs

Text of Prayer to be Spontaneously Chanted at Mandatory, Spur-of-the-moment Prayers to be Held at Impulsively-Scheduled Occasions Pre-determined Suddenly and Unexpectedly by Impromptu Religious Organizations

Major Insults Futrelle

Welcome to MyNewsPoetry, GUEST!

Tinyweek

Democrats Brats, Ratpublicans "Frat Boys"

Newspoem 14 September 2000

Gillespie Wins Gold in Men's Newspoetry

Alleged Autumn

Who am I?

Olympic Haiku

Consumer Reports Recommends Nader

UIUC Loses Last Appeal Against GEO

NYC Pome

$.02one hole

DOWn

Electoral Word Find

What We've Suspected All Along

Birthday Pome

nasdaq flat

Lazio's Eyes Heat-Ray-Capable

The Mile-High Wildlife Report

Election Anxiety

snow

Gulf War Syndrome

Breaking News is Hard to Do

Gore's Legal Team Interferes With Old Boy Process

Former President Bush Goes Home After Hip Surgery

NewsSpasms

George Bush Probable President

Newspoetry Y2K Year in Review Quiz

It Was a Silly Year

Letter to Bill Clinton

At Machiavelli's: a WTO Protest Hyperfiction

A Wednesday Late November On Tim

Jellyfish Power Failure

William Gillespie Accused of Murder: Eggplant Involved

Dear Amazon.com

The Multiculturalist's Anachronism

At Machiavelli's: a WTO Protest Hyperfiction

america i love thy odor

Frosty the Poet

1999, Year of the Unknown

Georgie Ryan

Newspoetry Coverage of Ropes Panel Discussion on Electronic Literature with Richard Powers and Sven Birkerts at the University of Cincinnati on February 3rd, 2000

Late to Work

Heimlich on Political Action

recipe (after Johnson)

Newspoem 24 March 2000

Existential Haiku

Villaku

Three Limericks from Cincinnati

Spring is Coming

Patrick Dorismond RIP, NYPD

The Wreck of the Good Ship Lollipop

Glut in Headline Market Takes Tropes to New Low

A16 Protest Portal

What Causes AIDS in South Africa?

After the Scampi

Roundtable Discussion on Labor

Newspoetry Cultural Review 1999-2000

Picnic in Urbana

Clinton Arrested in Fairville, Oklahoma

Haiku (x 2)

Newspoetry Conspiracy Theory

Nader Chooses Bill's Hat as Running Mate: Popularity Surges

Double Dubya Haiku

DEATH

The Year That Nader Ran

Television Subject Other

Fable

Executive Dysfunction

for the next four more

Mightywords Stabs ELO ED in Back

Clinton Does Vietnam

Middle East Passive/Chicago Tribune Grammar/Conflict Spin Haiku

The George Bush Center for Intelligence

Gore's Legal Team Interferes With Old Boy Process

NewsSpasms

Foreign Policy Panel: Ease Cuba Embargo

The Santa Clause

Newspoetry Y2K Year in Review Quiz

Frosty the Poet

Existential Haiku

Newspoem Upon Hearing that the Supreme Court Overturned Every Effort to Discover What Everyone Already Knows

Footwords to Howl, for Solomon

At Machiavelli's: a WTO Protest Hyperfiction

My First Newspoem

67-letter Newspoem

The Little Cuban Boy

Dubya

Limerick 2000

Seven Precepts for a Better Millenium, part 1

Seven Precepts for a Better Millenium, part 2

Seven Precepts for a Better Millenium, part 3

Seven Precepts for a Better Millenium, part 4

At Machiavelli's: a WTO Protest Hyperfiction

Why I Smoke

A Cycle of Blank Verse Sonnets

The Nine-Haiku Blank Verse HyperSonnet

Pledge of Allegiance

Republicrats Unanimously Adopt Pro-Poverty Bill

Martian Water Debate Continues

Super-Rich Support George W.

Elvis Wasn't Called the King for Nothing

George W. Names Barbie New Running Mate

"Vanka"

False Statement Newspoem

Radical Cheerleader

Newspoetry Y2K Year in Review Quiz

The World According to Citigroup

Drowned by the Hype

Peanuts No More

U.S. Working People's Can-Do Culture Under Pressure

Government Buys Bad Drama

Oh, Pomo!

Microsoft to Merge with DOJ

Newspoem 6 March 2000

DMD -- Dialectical Materialism Denial

Elian, the Token Alien

The Real Story

Los Alamos Burns

Limerish

Wazz'up

Gore Campaign Announces Biotechnology Breakthrough

Serial Killer Runs for President

Cawst

Nobody Cares

I Cannot Tell a Lie: I Killed Again Last Night

Roundtable Discussion on Labor

Declaration of Independence Sold

Intelligence vs. The Rule of Law

North Korea Attempts to Join in the Trend Towards Globalization

Demolition as Metaphor

Elvis Died for your Sins

Welcome to the Future

Inventor of the Lava Lamp Dies

Green is Not Seen

Maybe it's Wal-mart

Marylin Manson Endorses Bush

Low-Riding Public Policy

DEATH

EverGreen

People's Republic of Green Street Recognizes New Nation

Gore's Legal Team Interferes With Old Boy Process

NewsSpasms

"It was a cold day in Hell ..."

Newspoetry Y2K Year in Review Quiz

The Another Cross

At Machiavelli's: a WTO Protest Hyperfiction

Open Letter to the Rat-Fucks Trying to Get Elected

Cut Your Losses

Winter Wonderland

... Which brings me to a point: security.

Beltway Insiders OK Steamy Bi/Het Love Tryst

Poem on the Theme of Mistake

semi-multi-level-esque-ish haiku in the wicked stupid style

Frosty the Poet

Soft Manhood Threatens Re-Elected Mayor of San Fransisco

Presidential Seat Open and Running -- For Itself

SCIENTISTS UNCOVER MARTINLUTHERVANDROSSSAMMYDAVISKINGJUNIORSHORTXIV GENE IN STARTLING DISCOVERY!

Term Limitation Deadlock: Former President Taft, Vice President Agnew Cloned!

Ode de' Marque Enslin

Scientist's Crack Human Gene Code

Gore Invented Jack Ruby, Indigo Girls

Forty Athol Street: a Memoir

The Four Secrets of Highly Motivated Professionals

Freedom's Just Another Loss for Nothing Left to Words

Incredible Hulk Limerick

Hey Gang, uh, This is Just a Thought I Had That I Kinda' Thought Might, uh, be, Like, Important, or Something, You Know?. : a critique in the form of a wicket poorly constructed poem in the form of an avant garde palindrome

Bush Executes Gore, Gore Dumps Bush

Georgie Ryan

Target, Target, Do the Right Thing

Regrettable Loss of Life

Tory Party Withdraws ISP Service

Oh, Pomo!

Gorilla Bloat

Glut in Headline Market Takes Tropes to New Low

Tutti Frutti, Oh Rudy

Welcome to MyNewsPoetry, GUEST!

Top Row Retort

Light Verse About Newspoets

Deadlock Above the Keys

Happy Holidays

Bush to receive CIA updates: Intelligence agency plans to brief Bush six days a week

At Machiavelli's: a WTO Protest Hyperfiction

"The Home Ground": McCain Leads Texas Seige

Newspoetry Conspiracy Theory, part 2

Sub Pome

Wen Ho Lee steals nation's fishing secrets while serving time on a false nuclear espionage charge (#76)

#77 not an election poem

"Things looked very dark, it had been getting dark for some time"

TOO Democracyish

Twixt Two Twists

The 2000 Election Thus Far

William Gillespie Accused of Murder: Eggplant Involved

and then

Newspoem 24 March 2000

An Open Letter

Deadlock Above the Keys

Rising

Reminiscences of Al Gore

American Skin

Lines Stolen from M and Y

William Gillespie Accused of Murder: Eggplant Involved

Clinton and NRA Trade Schoolyard Taunts

Three Limericks from Cincinnati

Clinton makes muclear ban plea

A Fifth of August

Palm Beach Haiku

Tinyman for President

No-Tory-us!

Oh, to Be Like Mike!

Local Man "Doesn't Give a Shit" About That Stupid Cuban Kid

Newspoem about School Shootings, the WTO, Cuba, Police Brutality, Oil Prices, Chechnya, the NASDAQ, and Global Warming

Newspoetry Architecture Review: The New Jimi Hendrix Museum and Robot Zoo

Humans Fail to Prove Superiority of Opposable Thumbs: Lamp Remains Inoperative

Cat Questions Ambassadorship

Y2K

Frosty the Poet

Justice Murder

Dream

Judge Issues Gates-Split Order

And So

A Set Theory and Metric Spaces book asks Dick Cheney

Atlanta Linux Conference

Violence Kills

Shake

Ambivalence Returns to America

Newspoetry Y2K Year in Review Quiz

Madder Than I Ought to Be?

The Party

Enlightened Meanings for a Tired Language

Newspoem 24 March 2000

When Bethany's Sexay Love Man Votes

Leave The Yeti Alone