Suggestions on Avoiding Coconut Attacks

CBS tells us there's a greater risk of death from coconuts, but they only provide tips for avoiding the shark attacks.

1)

Don't stand underneath a coconut tree during a hurricane. It won't provide any protection. Seek shelter instead, you fool.

2)

Don't climb coconut trees without also wearing a helmet on your head. This will protect some, but you can still fall from the tree.

3)

Don't read underneath coconut trees. The law of gravity doesn't need to be rediscovered. Newton did that years ago.

4)

Stay away from all coconut trees if there is anybody named Gilligan within ten feet. (Or if you're known as 'Skipper')

5)

Convince your local grocery store not to place coconuts higher than five feet off ground level. (You might still break a toe, though)

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/05/21/national/main509641.shtml